From: Steve Savitzky (steve@Advansoft.COM) Subject: Crystal Amethyst Rose Newsgroups: alt.callahans Date: 1990-08-07 00:23:11 PST It is dark night; the wild wind blows over the place where the barbecue was held the day before. Perhaps there are voices in the wind. Steve and Colleen Savitzky come in, without their usual preliminary play of teddybear and cheshire cat, and order Scotch. Steve wears a black turtleneck; Colleen a black dress, and a necklace with an amethyst pendant, with a tiny rose on it. They stand at the chalkline, drink, and hurl their glasses. "To Crystal Amethyst Rose!" they say together, then walk off to a table in a dark corner where, perhaps, some other grieving people await them. Under their two dollar bills on the bar they have left a small card, edged in black. Mike holds it up and says, "I think this explains it." It says, CRYSTAL AMETHYST ROSE We'd have called her Amy if she'd lived: Amethyst Rose. She might have been like her sister, tall, with wavy hair, Perhaps she would have had her mother's eyes. She slipped away from us before she was born. In the cold hours after midnight her mother bore her. In the old days they would have said the Fair Folk Had stolen our child and left a cold stone in her place. We told them her name was Crystal Amethyst. We had no child to hold, so we held each other. We cried for her, for she would never cry. She left us only memories, and the echo of her name; Left us before we could say goodby. In the fields of the Fair Folk, somewhere outside of time, A girl who was never our child laughs and plays. From a tree with obsidian thorns and leaves of jade, She breaks a blooming crystal amethyst rose. ********************************** * In loving memory of * * Crystal Amethyst Rose Savitzky * * born: August 4, 1990 * * died: sometime in July * ********************************** Copyright 1990 Stephen Savitzky. All rights reserved. -- \ --Steve Savitzky-- \ ADVANsoft Research Corp \ REAL hackers use an AXE! \ \ steve@advansoft.COM \ 4301 Great America Pkwy \ #include \ \ arc!steve@apple.COM \ Santa Clara, CA 95954 \ 408-727-3357 \ \__ steve@arc.UUCP _________________________________________________________ From: Ken Olum (kdo@lucid.com) Subject: Re: Crystal Amethyst Rose Newsgroups: alt.callahans Date: 1990-08-07 10:02:22 PST In article steve@Advansoft.COM (Steve Savitzky) writes: >They stand at the chalkline, drink, and hurl their glasses. "To >Crystal Amethyst Rose!" they say together, then walk off to a table in >a dark corner where, perhaps, some other grieving people await them. "To Crystal Amethyst Rose" I toast, and set my glass gently in the fireplace. I go to the table where Steve and Colleen sit, give them both a hug and sit down next to them in silence to see if my presence will help. Ken From: Kate M. Gregory (gregory@csri.toronto.edu) Subject: Re: Crystal Amethyst Rose Newsgroups: alt.callahans Date: 1990-08-08 12:05:09 PST Katya is holding Beth in her arms. She looks as though she has been crying. Outside it is dark and starry, and people are wandering arm in arm through the darkness. "Darling, I know it's late, and time for you to sleep, but I need you with me a while," she says to the sleepy child. She looks over at Colleen and Steve but hesitates, not wanting to take Beth there, not wanting to leave her either. "First, condolences. What can a person say in this medium? It just can't carry the emotion. I won't say I know how you feel, I don't. And I'm grateful that I don't. Oh, I imagined losing her, I suppose everyone has such nightmares, but I'm sure that the reality is worse than one could ever imagine. I wish, though, that this was the first such tale I had heard; alas, it is not." Katya has a book in her hand, and she places it on the floor beside her. Beth has fallen asleep, and Katya gently puts her on a blanket on the floor. "The book is called 'When Pregnancy Fails', and I used to think everyone had heard of it, until some people who needed it thanked me for mentioning it." Katya pauses, not sure how to phrase the next part. "We had a particularly awful summer a while back. A friend, who had miscarried in her first pregnancy, gave birth to a son who died unexpectedly and inexplicably within hours. A friend of a friend went into labour at seven months and her daughter caught an infection in the hospital and died. She was given only one chance at pregnancy by her doctors - that was it. She will not conceive again. A third friend miscarried for the second time, and a relative of mine, about my father's age, died of cancer. Brian and I were deciding when to have children, but I had to deal with all this grief and mortality. I have access to a university medical library, and I started reading articles in medical journals, nurse journals, midwifery journals. I needed to know what could happen, and what the hospital would do if the worst did happen, right down to the details of funerals and naming. "My pregnancy was by no means uneventful, but my difficulties were trivial because I got Beth at the end of it all. My point is this: I *don't* know how you feel, but I believe I can be more of an empath on this topic than any other. I'm going to take Beth to her own bed and come back with the monitor; we can talk here or in private. Katya and Beth disappear, leaving the book behind, and outside the couples walk and look at the stars and perhaps they dream of little girls and boys with Mommy's hair and Daddy's eyes... and perhaps they dream with a little more awe and wonder than before. Nothing is guaranteed. From: Debbie Levine (deblev@ipac.caltech.edu Subject: Re: Crystal Amethyst Rose Newsgroups: alt.callahans Date: 1990-08-07 17:41:36 PST Eowyth wakes from her doze to the sound of Flynn singing "Vincent". She feels a warm glow of contentment and silently thanks all those who have welcomed her, and made her begin to feel a part of this Place. But the song continues to run softly through her brain, the few lines having fallen into place like a stone dropped into the lake, ripples of poignant feeling flowing outward on the melody. From inside she hears the poem about Crystal Amethyst Rose and the quiet conversation that follows, and the feeling deepens, opening a dull hollow spot somewhere inside. Those who grieve do not know her, and she does not presume to intrude upon them, so, instead, she sits quietly upon the lakeshore, fingers twined into the grass, eyes closed, and for a moment she feels for them, as much as she can. Then she opens her eyes and looks at the stars. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Eowyth, the Multihued rider | (Debbie Levine) | deblev@ipac.caltech.edu | deblev%ipac@hamlet (BITNET) | romeo::"deblev%ipac" (SPAN) | From: Tommi V. Kaikkonen ti (tommi@stekt.oulu.fi) Subject: Re: Crystal Amethyst Rose Newsgroups: alt.callahans Date: 1990-08-08 20:48:52 PST Tommi, suddenly aware of others, listens carefully what Steve and Colleen had to say. He looks at them and then gives a short warm hug to both of them. "Eh, I am still so young that I have not problems like you have. But that doesn't mean I know nothing about the pain... I cried all the night when I thought that I lost my twin brother forever. Strange how he later said that he really blamed himself for one thing..." "You probably not believe this, but it is true. Around the age of 5 my father asked from me and my brother would we like to have a little brother or sister. Tuomas replied asking 'would he or she feel like home then? I feel like I don't want...'. Me, I don't remember what I said. Still, many many years after that Tuomas has been saying that he feels guilty, that he feels like he has killed someone... someone who he never saw..." "Ahem, I know people who have pets, dogs and cats, instead of children. My sister and her husband are not going to make children (uh, I am not sure of the saying, but we say that here in Finland) and instead of children they have a lot of different sized fuzzy animals. Well, who knows... they have been really keen on visiting Harri's (her husband) brother who have little son and daughter. At least I hope they someday come to me with little child and then I would be a uncle." Smiling to the last idea he continues to smile. And he smiles the whole day... _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Tommi Kaikkonen InterNet: so-tvk@stekt.oulu.fi "In games you can Navettasuontie 4 FidoNet: sysop@(2:515/890) cheat, but life SF-68100 HIMANKA VoiceTel.+358 68 55154 is not a game."